Great news! I am feeling slightly normal today. And less ranty.
I was talking to one of my work colleagues earlier about his wife’s pregnancy – sounds like a nightmare! Their baby is due in early December and is already about 3.6kgs (this is pretty big for a 36 week old baby – average size is 2.4kg). She appears to be experiencing a great deal of discomfort and is unable to walk or bend. Sitting, standing and lying down are all uncomfortable. She cannot sleep and her hip joints hurt. She also appears to have lost her appetite and is dejected.
It appears that the thing that has made her pregnancy difficult is the lack of a support system around her. She, like me, is an immigrant. Her situation is worse than mine as her husband is also an immigrant and so they don’t have a large circle of friends or family here (they have a younger cousin). She also doesn’t work and so spends her whole day cooped up at home with her 2 year old daughter. He has been trying to pamper her; take her out for dinner and do all the chores but it is difficult as they have only each other. They have some support from friends who are also immigrants from their home country but not much. It is understandable that she feels lonely and a little down.
I, thankfully, am not in such a desperate situation as I went to school and university in the UK and as a result have my own friends. I have also met a few people along the way through these friends and work. However, I understand how she feels in a lot ways. I would have liked to have my mother and cousins here through my pregnancy. They have known me my whole life and their first concern is my well being. And they have had children before, unlike most of my friends.
I come from a family of women. My grandmother had three daughters, my oldest aunt on my mother’s side had four daughters, whom I am close to and I have two sisters. I am used to being around women, for advice, to argue with, to nurture me. I miss them here; I miss our similarity and their concern and understanding most of all. For me, one of the worst things about living so far from home is being away from the older women in my family – I miss their advice and knowledge. I miss the naturalness of our relationships, being in the bosom of my family.
I was talking to one of my work colleagues earlier about his wife’s pregnancy – sounds like a nightmare! Their baby is due in early December and is already about 3.6kgs (this is pretty big for a 36 week old baby – average size is 2.4kg). She appears to be experiencing a great deal of discomfort and is unable to walk or bend. Sitting, standing and lying down are all uncomfortable. She cannot sleep and her hip joints hurt. She also appears to have lost her appetite and is dejected.
It appears that the thing that has made her pregnancy difficult is the lack of a support system around her. She, like me, is an immigrant. Her situation is worse than mine as her husband is also an immigrant and so they don’t have a large circle of friends or family here (they have a younger cousin). She also doesn’t work and so spends her whole day cooped up at home with her 2 year old daughter. He has been trying to pamper her; take her out for dinner and do all the chores but it is difficult as they have only each other. They have some support from friends who are also immigrants from their home country but not much. It is understandable that she feels lonely and a little down.
I, thankfully, am not in such a desperate situation as I went to school and university in the UK and as a result have my own friends. I have also met a few people along the way through these friends and work. However, I understand how she feels in a lot ways. I would have liked to have my mother and cousins here through my pregnancy. They have known me my whole life and their first concern is my well being. And they have had children before, unlike most of my friends.
I come from a family of women. My grandmother had three daughters, my oldest aunt on my mother’s side had four daughters, whom I am close to and I have two sisters. I am used to being around women, for advice, to argue with, to nurture me. I miss them here; I miss our similarity and their concern and understanding most of all. For me, one of the worst things about living so far from home is being away from the older women in my family – I miss their advice and knowledge. I miss the naturalness of our relationships, being in the bosom of my family.
I have discussed this feeling with my husband and we have decided that I should go home for a month or so, once LD can travel. I am really really looking forward to it.
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